Online Dating with Fernando Torres

Got myself on that Are You Interested? application on Facebook. To be honest, I wasn't attracting much attention.

Then I put a snap of me meeting Fernando Torres up - now they're clicking YES left, right and centre: Canadian cuties, pale-skinned lovelies from Macedonia and the Ukraine. Even had a couple of married women.

One girl looked promising until I discovered all these lewd applications on her profile, like Best Sex Position. Very intimidating. Not sure what the Helicopter is, but I get tired after five minutes of missionary, so I clicked back NO.

A few days later it happened: a match. This right hottie - I was well up for a piece of her. She looked elegant: high cheek bones and a cocktail in her hand. Then she asked which one I was in the picture...

Didn't bother replying.

19 comments:

Bruce Coltin said...

Very amusing post. Thanks for writing it.

Remya Raman said...

This is too good. I loved it. I read your posts and found them good and funny. I guess you have great sense of humor. Everything is very neat and well place in your blog. Just lovely one. Keep writing such good pieces.

La Jenno said...

Aww, it'll happen when it's meant to happen. I like OKCupid for good matches. :) okcupid.com -- it's free and fun and run with more intelligence than any other free dating site out there. :) Best of luck to you.

Jenno

Charlene said...

Of course you replied and told her her which one you were right? And then signed the note, "Fernando"...? :-)

Miffie said...

Just read some of your posts and happily laughed my ass off. Thanks again for following, I really appreciate it.

Anyways, is it wrong that I don't know who that guy is, (except for totally good looking)? Anyone?

http://www.myitchyfoot.blogspot.com/

Crunk said...

Long story cut short..... this was wicked funny!

Keep it up.

Kate said...

Loved this post - good old Fernando!

Kate xx

Waterman said...

Hilarious. Does Fernando also look like a middle school student in real life? He sure can play the game though

Sarah said...

lol thanks for the laughs!

Anonymous said...

I did try and warn you about THAT photo!

Bets xx

Jenna In The Ditch said...

Alright, I will offer you some advice. If you want to meet women, play a sport. You don't have to be good at it (but try to pick the one you're best at for Christsakes). The women there will admire your masculinity and you will know that they have other interests than boyfriends. Also, women who play sports tend to be the least likely to get fat once you marry them.

lifechick said...

I don't know who Fernando Torres is either lol. But funny post!

Mizzholborow said...

I love your writing style...light-hearted, insightful and humorous, you have a talent for telling it like it is and letting us see your character shine through.
Well done :)

Colin said...

Lol, I love your blog. This post is so funny and I really enjoyed reading through the rest.

Thank-you :)

Blogger_babe32 said...

Mouse.. drawn.. to picture...must click...drool....

He's almost as gorgeous as your post!

Bim said...

hahaha great article. spotted on twitter. lalalalalala torres torres

Write Right Where You "R" said...

Hey,
I love your stuff! But, I don't my blogspot on your blog roll! Come on, give a girl a break! ;-)

boxofficegirl said...

Haaaaaaaa!

Dating said...

Torres & Euro 2008 - the best!