I emailed Rapunzel, the dating blogger from Manchester. We're going on a date - then writing about it. Still need to discuss details.
Am actually quite excited. Read through her blog last night - she's pretty funny. There's one post about her choking on a sausage - blatantly a euphemism.
Only problem is, I don't know what she looks like.
We told each other our real names and I tracked her down on Facebook - but she's refusing to add me.
All I can go on is a tiny profile picture. Looks quite fit for a 33-year-old - though she's wearing a ridiculous straw hat so it's hard to tell.
Why won't she add me if we're hooking up? What is she hiding? All sorts of things are running through my mind:
1) She's disabled. Imagine her rolling up for our date in a wheelchair. I bend down to kiss her cheek, trying to appear blasé about the whole thing. At least she can't do a runner, I tell myself. Spend all night pushing her round trendy bars. We actually get on okay - apart from a wheelie incident. She even invites me back for coffee. Have to carry her upstairs before getting down to a bit of missionary - the only position her lame legs will allow. Sorry Rapunzel, I just haven't got the stamina.
2) She's older than she is making out. My favourite scenario. Used to have a major crush on my ex's 59-year-old mum. Still think about her ample bosom late at night sometimes. Even though she'll be 65 now.
3) She's got kids. Wouldn't be bothered about this either - as long as they were well disciplined and didn't ask me for pocket money.
4) She's married. This whole thing could just be a ploy to get readers. Or she might be after some rumpy pumpy on the side. Or I could be part of an elaborate plan to spice things up in the bedroom. Would probably consider it if so - as long as hubby wasn't better looking than me.
5) She's unemployed. I'd have to pay for everything. This is the worst case scenario.