The Facebook Snub (2 of 7)

I emailed Rapunzel, the dating blogger from Manchester. We're going on a date - then writing about it. Still need to discuss details.

Am actually quite excited. Read through her blog last night - she's pretty funny. There's one post about her choking on a sausage - blatantly a euphemism.

Only problem is, I don't know what she looks like.

We told each other our real names and I tracked her down on Facebook - but she's refusing to add me.

All I can go on is a tiny profile picture. Looks quite fit for a 33-year-old - though she's wearing a ridiculous straw hat so it's hard to tell.

Why won't she add me if we're hooking up? What is she hiding? All sorts of things are running through my mind:

1) She's disabled. Imagine her rolling up for our date in a wheelchair. I bend down to kiss her cheek, trying to appear blas√© about the whole thing. At least she can't do a runner, I tell myself. Spend all night pushing her round trendy bars. We actually get on okay - apart from a wheelie incident. She even invites me back for coffee. Have to carry her upstairs before getting down to a bit of missionary - the only position her lame legs will allow. Sorry Rapunzel, I just haven't got the stamina.

2) She's older than she is making out. My favourite scenario. Used to have a major crush on my ex's 59-year-old mum. Still think about her ample bosom late at night sometimes. Even though she'll be 65 now.

3) She's got kids. Wouldn't be bothered about this either - as long as they were well disciplined and didn't ask me for pocket money.

4) She's married. This whole thing could just be a ploy to get readers. Or she might be after some rumpy pumpy on the side. Or I could be part of an elaborate plan to spice things up in the bedroom. Would probably consider it if so - as long as hubby wasn't better looking than me.

5) She's unemployed. I'd have to pay for everything. This is the worst case scenario.

48 comments:

Adam said...

i have it on good authority that she's a midget and the straw hat is hiding her ginger hair. she might tell you it's brunette - but only because she dies it. she doesnt want to add you you because some of her photos are of her gingerness.

Adam said...

And not to seem like a spelling retard - that was supposed to say 'dye' not 'die'. Was a slip of the keyboard.

Lainey. said...

Fishy, sometimes you're pretty keen. Almost too keen, some might say. Yes, I am some.

If I'm going on a date with someone I'm not going to give them access to my facebook page where they can see all manner of pics of me and the chit chat that goes on between my friends and I.

I want to chose how much info I release and when. And what if it all goes tits up (metaphorically speaking) and then you have to go through the rigmarole of removing each other... No ta.

x

KDC said...

Or maybe she wants the option to carry on walking if she doesn't like the look of you! Every woman needs a get out strategy. ;-)

Thanks for the comment on my blog, respect right back at cha!

http://notmoredatingadvice.blogspot.com/

DC x

Kate said...

Ha ha I love this. Maybe she is actually a spy sent to assasinate you. She is secretly half woman half robot? She is a GIANT.....

Okay clearly I am too enthusiastic over this.

Kate xx
http://secretofficeconfessions.blogspot.com

Kate said...

But have you given her your picture???

Grgg said...

Look at the positive side. She COULD also be a supermodel that doesn't want you to date her JUST for her looks....

Hunter said...

She doesn't want you to know about her fanatical Mafia Wars habit on FB just yet.

Good luck.

"...she'll be 65 now. Or dead." --Funny stuff.

Lexicon said...

it's usually better to know less beforehand and find out in person. Facts out of context of real life personality tend to give mistaken impressions. case in point: her last date. Although blogging does disseminate personality better than dating profiles.

Also loose the pre-conception she might be "fit". Tiny profile pics lie more than any other size.

My best dates: I didn't know much about them beforehand and their photos lied in their favour.

Helen said...

I never add someone on facebook before I meet them. Not these days anyway. Less is more with regards to pre-date information!

L. Cunningham said...

Maybe she is hot and want to see the look on YOUR face when you see her.

Vix said...

I think it's a good thing. You'd miss out completely on that first-date-getting-to-know-eachother scenario if she added you. It would be like her sending you her CV pre-interview. Great strategy for jobs, shit strategy for dating.

Little Sophie said...

This is a fun game ;)

Maybe she's a skinhead.
Maybe she's a dude.
Maybe she's a really old dude.
Or maybe, just maybe, she hasn't checked her e-mail yet and doesn't know you befriended her.
Just a wild guess though...

xo

http://littleprincesssophie.blogspot.com

ByDSea said...

Go on the date prepared to push around a wheelchair, pay for everything for an older married woman with kids who is very ugly. This way your sure to be pleasantly surprised.
Cheers,
C

Doog said...

i would say she is probably a bit intimidated by your stature in the blog community. Once she opens the facebook window there's no escaping. That, or she's minging. anyone can look good in a tiny photo.

ps - this blog made me laugh out loud. not sure why. the disabled thing started me off.

Lifebeginsat30ty said...

I have a 2-date rule for letting my dates on FB. One is that I would like to be able to make my facebook status about them on those early date without them seeing it. Two is that once you become 'friends' it is the utmost in rudeness to 'de-friend' someone. Then I'm a 'bitch' who keeps getting sent messages on how unfair it was of me to can them as my friend on FB when we don't even talk anymore in real life. He.

Heather said...

I added people before I had a date with them - and then when date went bad - um AWKWARD! I don't blame her...you don't want this bad date to stalk you on Facebook. Not that you'll be a bad date - but in this day - you gotta prepare for the worst!

RenRexx said...

I won't give facebook access until I'm dating the person for a while. I never gave BEG access to it, simply because I didn't trust him not to write something on my wall. Maybe that's the case on her end. She's hiding her true agenda, her friends are opposed to her dating, she's embarassed- who knows? And it would feel awkward to have to delete the person after only one week.

Personally, I don't like to share too much about my personal life. I direct them to myspace instead if they want to see pictures. At least there, it's calmer, and he can't really see my dirty laundry.

RenRexx said...

Still.... I can't help but imagine how awkward this date will turn out. Imagine it doesn't turn out good, and all your readers will know how YOU REALLY ARE on a first date and that you're the one to blame....

wait, you ,now what, nevermind- Please proceed. I'm dying to find out how this date turns out and what you have to say about each other. It'd be weird considering you're both on the same mission. Nevertheless, this will make for a good reading!

Keren David said...

If she's called Rapunzel she's probably got very long hair and she's good at spinning and she doesn't like dwarves.

Dater at Large said...

I don't give anyone I date access to my FB, are you kidding me?!

Why don't you just ask her for a photo, since she's seen yours and you have her email? Seems a lot of men rail on women for not being direct and then go and be indirect and sneaky themselves...

Eszter said...

I've been requested to add potential dates on Facebook, and it has backfired often - I suppose that's a reflection on my stellar date picking. So now I only add them if I've been on a date with them and I can actually confirm that they are not insane, not pyromaniacs [ happened before] and will not stalk me on Facebook and comment on every status I make. So maybe that's what she's doing.

Alice in Wonderland said...

Hey, on my profile photo, I'm wearing a straw hat, and I'm blonde, and I'm 30! OMG! Now I'm starting to get freaked out! No, I have nothing to do with FaceBook, so it's not me! And my profile picture is a painting of me that a friend did, but I did post a photo of me on my 365 Days of Photos! But I promise you that it is definitely NOT me!
What a co-incidence!

Kelly said...

Yeah, no FB friending for me either unless we actually are friends. I personally don't like the "tiered friends" feature, but that's another thing. Anyway, I wouldn't take it personally, unless she blocks you from her Twitter.

Plentymorefishoutofwater said...

Adam - thanks for the tip-off, brother. I actually have a bit of a ginger fetish though...

Lainey - I'll try to de-keen myself in future. Good advice.

Kate - yep, she has seen my profile picture and I deliberately put a big one up which shows me in a good light but not TOO good.

Little Sophie - no, she told me she wouldn't add me but wouldn't explain why. Obviously I didn't push it.

Dater at Large - I may just do that!

Wynn said...

I'm following all this. I'm intrigued.

Kate said...

Don't stress it Mr. Fish. Maybe the whole reason why Rapunzel hasn't added you as a friend is to build up a bit of anticipation on your part, which seems to be working I have to say.

Also having access to someone's Facebook profile is like peering in through their living room window: you get to see what their life is like and somehow start to feel that you're getting to know them from what's tucked away on their profile/behind their sofa when actually you DON'T! It's much better to get to know someone in the flesh rather than by pouring over their pixels.

Kate x
http://search-for-the-perfect10.blogspot.com

Sparkless said...

She could just have a life and hasn't gotten to your request yet too.
And maybe she wants to meet you first to see if you are Facebook Friend worthy.

secret agent woman said...

I recently has someone ask me to add on facebook before we met and I said I'd do it after the first date. I just felt like he shouldn't have access to that much information about me before we met.

Rupie Fowler said...

I agree with Kate...women love a build up. She's building up anticipation. Anticipation comes from the same family as foreplay !

Other similar "anticipators" women love are :

Discussing shoes/frock purchase the whole week before spending the whole Saturday buying the one item.

Making a list of things to take on holiday 6 months prior to departure.

Planning a wedding 26 years in advance.

See what I mean...women love a bit of anticipation.

marc said...

Most likely she's being cautious, but there does exist the possibility that she has a shlong.

Lou said...

Fish, perhaps she took one look at your profile pic and thought 'hell no' and is feigning facebook technical issues to let you down gently. Sorry dude, had to say it...

Or maybe she's just not as addicted to checking her fb page as much as you are...

Either scenario, you're not looking too good.

Just realised, i am not helping. Sorry!

Lastly, there was a time when dates were arranged before fb and myspace and twitter and all that shit. So chill, fish. Chill. And perhaps pick up a phone. :)

Chrissy said...

Goodness! You better hope she really isn't disabled, although, that would be pretty funny. Not that she's disabled...I should just stop now.

RawknRobynsGoneBlogWild said...

I think she's just a bit hesitant because of your small nipples.
Robyn

Kato said...

Hahaha! Ok, first of all, there is not enough space here for me to fill it with 'haha's. Because you are completely and utterly hilarious.

Secondly, if it doesn't work out between the two of you, she won't have to delete you because you will already be gone. See the symbolism there?

No? Me neither.

jo said...

haha! you're just paranoid. probably she just hasn't gotten round to checking her facebook yet, or she doesn't know it's you, or perhaps she just prefers to meet you in person first before she adds you, you know, just to make sure you're not psycho and all :P

soflobojo said...

Hahaha, I generally don't friend/accept a request unless there have been a few dates. This avoids stalker situations, picture trolling, and us knowing a weird amount of information about each other before we've told each other in real life. Nothing sucks more than feeling like a deer in the headlights when you ask your date how Grandma Sue is and then realize he's never actually told YOU about her.

Dating Diva said...

The guy I am dating won't add me either. But I too wait a bit knowing someone before I will add them on FB, just because that is where everyone from my life is--friends, family, co-workers, etc. I consider it a more intimate peek into my life, so they have to wait until I feel comfortable with them.

Rapunzel said...

Hilarious post! Even more so because it's about me! I got so caught up imagining you pushing me from bar to bar that I started to believe I am in a wheelchair!

Not convinced you do read my blog though...because if you did you'd know that I live in an apartment in the tallest residential building in Europe. There are no stairs for you to carry me up. I just wheel in to the lift and I'm up in the clouds in no time...

Rapunzel said...

Oh and obviously you won't be getting to carry me, wheel me or go in the lift with me anywhere near my 'upstairs' on the first date!

30-F-London said...

Fishy, I hate to say it, but you need to get out more!

If you're going to trawl through a date's facebook before the FIRST date, you need to do it surreptitiously!

I wouldn't accept someone as a friend if a) I hadn't met them b) nor had that first date with them or c) slept with or intended to sleep with them!

My facebook is left untouched IN CASE I accidently accept one of 'those' first dates gone bad!

Good luck with Rapunzel! Can't wait for the write-ups!

xx

The Invisible Seductress said...

Just laughing and waiting somewhat patiently for the event!! Please hurry, when you live vicariously through other people you are lonely and bored a lot....sigh....

Beautiful but Grumpy said...

Hilarious post! Made me laugh out loud. Your great sense of humour will save the date no matter what. Have fun.
Www.datinglondonrealstories.com

Miss Alpha said...

LOL

Relax... If she's like me, she won't add you until you're in a monogamous relationship. Otherwise, how will she post status updates about all the other guys she's dating? :)

Ca88andra said...

Perhaps she doesn't want to add you until she meets you and sees if you both get on? For all she knows, you could have a fake pic and really be an old, ugly, unemployed cripple!

Farila said...

I have no options left to say anything.. I will wait to see the outcome...

Cheryl said...

I very rarely add people that I don't know in person to my facebook. Just a precaution. I'm interested to see how this plays out :-)

Rose said...

A lot of people have been victims of stalkers actually, and she does have an online presence... so you could make things pretty awkward for her if you do end up being weird.

A lot of people are careful about the Facebook thing. It's normal. Sometimes I feel it can be a bit TMI. I notice even with friends some of my best in person anecdotes have been ruined by me first giving the game away on a FB status.