Bad news folks - it's over. The strain of courting in the public eye finally got to me and fellow blogger Rapunzel.
After a long
The frustrating thing is, we do get along great. I'll probably never be able to listen to Three Times a Lady without thinking of her silly knife and fork earrings. And she'll no doubt always wonder how small my tiny nipples really are.
Obviously we're going to stay friends
All this means I'm dateless for Valentine's Day. Luckily I've still got those vaginal mints as a prize if any readers want to play cupid...