Took my car to the mechanic's yesterday. I planned to get flirty with the receptionist. Maybe even ask her out. Here's what happened:9.30am
Girls round here don't shag outsiders, so I don my best Lacoste jumper - make me look more Scouse.
Charlotte smiles as I walk in - she's clearly wet for me. We bonded over a Whitney Houston song last time. Radio's not on today, though.
"No Whitney this morning?" I say.
"Eh?"
"Last time I came in Whitney was on - you said you liked her."
"God, you've got a good memory."
Feel my face start to burn. Need to regroup.
"Okay, Mr Fishy - your car will be ready about 1pm."
She strides into the back office with an air of cold efficiency, leaving me to trot home in a sulk.
12.50pm
Give myself a pep talk in front of the mirror ahead of the pick up:
Just be yourself, Fishy. You're smart, you're funny - let your boyish charm shine through and she'll be smitten.
Struggle to hide a grimace as Charlotte reveals the damage. £75 seems a lot for an oil change.
"Enter your PIN number," she mouths.
Our eyes meet. It feels electric.
"Mr Fishy...your PIN number?"
"PIN," I reply. "It's just PIN - Personal Identification Number. You wouldn't say Personal Identification Number Number, would you?"
"Guess not."
Charlotte sucks her lips inwards to suppress a smirk.
Some beefhead walks in swinging his car keys round his index finger. Cock.
My girl tells him she won't be a minute, then hands me a receipt like a notice of eviction - this time no eye contact. I've blown it.
Make my way to the exit. Fairly sure I hear Charlotte giggling as I open my car door.
28 COMMENTS:
Awww Fishy. Sound like she's only interested in grease monkies.
Maybe ease off on the pedantry next time. Bad habit of mine is correcting grammer. I just can't stop myself but it's not exactly endearing.
Hopefully see you over at the new home of my blog. www.fpover2.blogspot.com
Chat-up FAIL. You're about as smooth as sandpaper.
Ho-hum. Next time, Gadget.
Next time bring a boombox and your own Whitney Houston. A true player always has theme music.
I'd leave the sarky comments till after you knew them better.
I've noticed you tend to blow it with girls for that reason.
You need to think before you speak. And if you are thinking, then you need to regroup, cuz you're lacking in charm.
No offense Fishy, but you're latest escapades leave me feeling like you're just desperate to cop off and don't give a rats ass about being a good soul as long as you get your dick wet.
If some guy had said the PIN thing to me, I'd have told him to go do one. She probably thought the same.
In the words of my high school maths teacher - could do better.
Smooth one! Better luck with the girl next door or the doctor perhaps =D
Fishy, I like your style and how witty you normally are with girls, but I have to agree that the "PIN" comment wasn't your brightest moment.
Well, one down, two little fishes to go!
Anne
http://datingoneverycontinent.blogspot.com/
I like this post so much. It sounds like from a novel. Now I can't wait for your "in progress" novel to be published.
x
Cap Ou Pas Cap [?]
You didn't blow it Fishy, you never had a chance with her. But you did get some good flirting in so it's all good.
You really need to take some lessons off Rapunzel's Luke the barman!
she's probably more into the rough type anyway. better luck next time, with a different girl.
Meeting someone isn't always about spontaneity. Sometimes the first thing out of your mouth makes people think that you're something you're not--especially when the first words are also the last. Like Lulz said, if you keep saying the same thing that blows you out, maybe you should think of what you'd actually like to say.
Lulz is also right about the reason behind this. Ask yourself WHY you're attracted to her. If you don't know, it's not wrong to think she's gorgeous and talk with her in an effort to find out if she's cool. It IS wrong to talk to her in an effort to date her if you know nothing about her. It's needy.
Betta luck next time!
Ha, I wouldn't say you blew it, I think she's probably a bit of a twit. She didn't sound that great anyway. I mean, she's a receptionist at a garage... just sayin'.
You give up too easy. Just ask her out already. Worst thing she could say is NO - Next time you get an oil change, make an effort to bring her tea or coffee or whatever you english peeps drink.
Dude, no dramas, move on.
You tried and failed but at least you were out there, in the trenches and making that move.
I don't think the comment was sarky. If you said it in an aggressive voice well, yes, that would be sarky. However, if said with a smile it could be quite charming.
Whatever, go back to the racist, live dangerously so we can have a laugh about it, lol.
Seriously you've gone through an unholy amount of women. Still at least it makes for an interesting read.
Swing at every pitch, I say. Nothing builds confidence like flirting for flirting sake. Nice improv!
jfb
Fishy if you were going to pay £75 purely to talk to a girl, you could have at least given her some decent chat!
Think I'm going to have to give you some lectures on what women really want. Your first bit of homework is to re-read my latest post and see how Luscious Luke got my attention!
http://www.talesfromthetower.co.uk/2010/05/flirtini.html
Rapunzel x
Bro Nameth,
Your problem was starting out right where you left off. "No Whitney today?" was iffy. Then, when you had to explain it, you were sunk. I would have led with an ambiguous reference that would have left you some wiggle room. Mayhaps: "Thank God you don't have any more Whitney on today; pretending to like her last time just so I could talk with you was exhausting." Also, you'll notice that a comment like that has no requirement-response. You're free and clear regardless. Another strategy would have been to not mention anything at all and see if SHE remembered YOU. If she's too dumb to recognize your prodigious charm, then it's not worth your energy beating yourself up over a failed encounter. There's plenty more, uh, fish in the sea. Right.
So well worded it was like being there.
I suddenly feel rather sad.
I'll be at the bar.
Pearl
Number, number...aw, Fishy. I do dig the bring your own boombox idea.
Her loss!
Dude you need to learn to change your own oil. I know teenage girls who are capable of that stuff. Saves you £75 and the embarrassment of striking out while chatting up a girl.
As a plus, I'm sure girls like handy men :)
haha, it cant be forced it just wasnt meant to be.
I may be the only one, but I actually LIKE the PIN comment. When I read it, I thought, "Huh. He's got a point. Nerdy-cool. How is it possible that she wasn't won over?"
Yeah, I'll say it. I'm a dork. And clearly, I've nothing helpful to say.
Ahhh, good try Fishy. Practice makes perfect!
Hmm..I didn't like her anyway.
"Wet for you?" and "fishcakes" ??
Your lack of respect for women and general manners astounds me. Such phrases are sexist and degrading. This explains a lot regarding your dating troubles. Change your disgusting thought process and maybe you'll get a good woman.
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