Some of you might remember the pet shop girl I mentioned a few months back. Well, I've
Which, as far as I can tell, leaves me with a shortlist of three:
THE GIRL NEXT DOOR
I rent a basement flat in an old Victorian house by the sea.
For the past few months, one of the flats has been vacant. Except last week it was finally filled by a lovely looking girl
We've only bumped into each other once and I don't know much about her, but from looking at her mail I've worked out she's a student, she banks with Barclays and she gets a lot of mysterious packages.
I did actually go up to introduce myself the other day, but there was a strange buzzing noise coming from her flat, so I scurried back to Mildred.
THE MECHANIC'S RECEPTIONIST
At the end of last year I got whacked with a £480 bill from my mechanic.
That's what you get for taking it to an official dealership, everyone kept telling me.
Yes, but I think the receptionist might be my 'one', I replied.
Charlotte is kind of sensible-looking: eyes framed by rectangular spectacles, hair suppressed by a thousand grips. Sometimes I imagine us sharing a bottle of Asti Spumante when suddenly she unfurls a tide of flowing locks - from receptionist to minx in one fell swoop.
Last time I went in we bonded over a shared love of Whitney Houston's I Wanna Dance with Somebody (Who Loves Me) after it came on the radio.
Anyway, I need an oil change
THE DOCTOR
I've been chatting to a GP called Marie on Plentyoffish.com. We got messaging after I pretended to like yoga.
So far she's displaying no signs of racism, depression or arthritis - and, best of all, she's proper tasty. So much so that when I showed her photo to the lads at work, they scoffed and suggested I had no chance.
Only problem is, she lives in Birkenhead, so I'd have to pay the £1.40 tunnel charge every time I wanted a shag. Unless I went the long way round - in which case I'm still forking out on petrol.
So which of these girls do you think I should pursue?
43 COMMENTS:
the options are thinning out...
just like his hair...
It's got to be The Mechanic's Receptionist especially if it gets you cheap services!!!
Failing that The Doctor, dating a student will cost you a fortune paying for everything she can't afford!!
If you want half a chance @ getting a good snog fishy... the gambler in me says you should pursue all 3!!! Certainly ups the odds for you.
However - the neighbour with the strange parcels and buzzing noises either may need a real man - Or is cooking some kind of exotic drugs - or candy
But I'd try her last, parade the other 2 past her, so she thinks your hot goods, then your more likely to end up with a neighbour with benefits... but protect mildred - In case she's a bunny boiler who's happy to move on to cats
Stalker much ey. I like it.
I wouldn't go for the neighbour if I wasn't in dire need. I refer to paragraph 83 in the Bro Code, "A Bro shall, at all costs, honor the Platinum Rule: Never, ever, ever, ever " love" thy neighbor." because well messing with your neighbours can leave you feeling awkward in your own backyard, so to speak.
The doctor. Go down swinging.
I know you're not going to approve this Mr Fish as I hear you're a Nazi when it comes to approving blog comments, but I think you're using a few too many strike-throughs in your posts at the moment.
Now and again they work well, but to use them as often as you seem to be doing recently (5 times in this latest post) is as bad as those douche bags who use smilies.
Other than that, keep up the good work, enjoying the blog anyway.
I vote the doctor.
I'm not a Nazi - all comments get approved apart from spam and gratuitously negative anonymous contributions. All comments with a name attached get approved. And you're right about the strikes...I've even gone back and removed two. Such feedback always welcome - sometimes I can't see the wood from the trees.
Fishy
Go for the girl next door - that buzzing sounds interesting and a student must be a cheap night out!
Good luck!
Martin.
Now I feel like a douche bag as I didn't think you'd approve that! Fair play.
Good work anyway, strike-throughs or not.
x
No to the neighbor. Yes to the other two.
Agree with otherworldlyone - forget the neighbour.
The Neighbour - students could sugegst cheap nights out on the beer and stumbling back to hers/yours in the early hours. But the udders would put me off.
The mechanic - like someone suggested - cheap services. And she could look foxy if she ditched the hairglasses but kept the glasses on.
The doctor - ask her to do a medical on you? Educated and tasty. I vote her!
Am I the only one who is thinking "why should Fishy choose?"?! I've attended a sales seminar where I learned: the more prospects you have, bigger the chances of getting a client.
Go for all of them and, with luck, you will get to keep one ;)
Just be careful if planning on taking the other 2 home (don’t have any funny ideas, I mean one at a time...) under neighbor's watch!
Bisous
Anne
http://datingoneverycontinent.blogspot.com/
Make a play for all three. Multi-dating is apparently the way forward. Just make sure you don't mix their names up in the heat of passion! ;-)
I agree with Anne -- hedge your bets and cultivate all three. The doctor certainly sounds like a catch, but if that doesn't work out, you can try the receptionist. Save the neighbor for a moment of desperation.
Keep away from the neighbour. It's got awkward written all over it. On the other hand, that is your speciality.
I'd go for the GP. She'll have seen nipples even smaller than yours.
# 1 is out - never date someone that lives that close (obviously in case it doesnt work out)
#2 - Sounds like there is potential, but then you'll have to get your car serviced somewhere else.... Never shit where you eat etc.
#3 - I say is the one!!! She lives far enough away that if things did not work out, you'd never have to worry about running into her, her friends, or seeing her with someone new.
At first when I read this my first reaction was to tell you grow a penis and stop being a chick!!!
Then I realized this was more insightful than not, as I have no idea what runs thru a man's head when the blood flow is working the brain above his shoulders.
I agree with Kate - go for all three and narrow the odds! x
I would leave the neighbor out of the mix as well. If anything goes sour, that would make going home way too awkward.
Pursue both of the others and see what pans out.
The GP must be minted though. If it works out between her and you, you could be a kept man.
I missed the post on racist natasha damn. I would go for the doctor. Play doctor for real.
Not the neighbor, unless you're moving soon. That would just be awkward. Go for the mechanic.
Stay away from the neighbour completely, do u really wanna hav to see a failed date again and again as she lives right there with her buzzing?
I think it should go in the category of how you shouldn't date people from work.
Go for them all. And if it doesn't work out with the neighbor, well then, that'll just give you more blog fodder.
the girl next door might be too close for comfort. maybe the doctor is too far. so i guess the happy middle of the mechanic?
I agree with previous comments that propose that you go for all three. You are a blogger, these ladies all offer potential writing material, and we, your readers, beg to be amused. The "don't shit where you eat" saying only applies if you don't cater to a rapt audience. I say, shit everywhere please. :)
haha. i think you should go for all 3 too and only narrow it down after you've been on a few dates each ;)
Let me tell you that toll will play hell with your head. I remember complaining about paying $3 (20 years ago) to go see the girl I was dating.
Next door girl probably tests sex toys.
Mysterious buzzing noise? Whatever could that be...? hehe
I was going to say what others have said effectively, don't shit on your own doorstep, but i agree now that this would make brilliant blog fodder. But if it did go tits up with the neighbour, pardon the expression, then you'd be faced with awkward run ins and listening for her to leave. Too much hassle.
I say go for the other two. Both. Not at once. Unless that's your thing. :)
My vote is for the receptionist. And if it works out you can play Whitney Houston and both dance with somebody who loves you. Plus I'm getting mad visions of her throwing off the glasses and letting down the hair and you two making it on her desk. And you've got plenty of lube handy right there in the office! ;)
Just came across your blog. Very witty indeed. Pip, pip, cheerio old chap!
Doctor!!
mechanicc!!!
'Tits like udders?' Is that meant to be a good thing?!
I'm surprised you are even contemplating the neighbour considering you read my post about the very same thing.
http://www.talesfromthetower.co.uk/2009/11/little-miss-crabbit-face.html
Don't say you weren't warned!
Rapunzel x
try with each one every Sunday
The Mechanic's Receptionist
I've been away too long. I missed you, Fishy.
#4, Cougar in the States named Chrissy. But then you'd probably bitch about the airfare.
#2, then.
I could lie and say "dating someone in your building is a bad, bad idea" but, as someone who used to sleep with my flatmate, I can vouch that it's awesome. So very convenient.
Do you have a second or third cousin who wouldn't be averse to a first date dinner at McDonalds? If so, we have a contender!
Go for the girl next door. Good luck!
I read the title and thought that you had a stroke of honesty and coming out about your little kiddies. I am kinda disappointed.
I agree with trying all three out. Maybe even trying all three out in different styles. See which one ultimately works out the best.
If I was on the receiving end, I'd probably be attracted to you if you were an ass, but that's because I have evidently marked my heart for bad-boys since I fell in love with Mr. T at age five.
Some girls like sweet.
With the buzzing neighbor your possibilities are endless...
Post a Comment